Your squad is an important part of your life. Some people think it’s important to have lots and lots of friends. I disagree. The quality of your friendships is wayyyyyy more important that the quantity (or number) of friends you have. It’s important to make wise decisions about those you let into your life.
I think the first step in evaluating your squad, is to understand there are different categories or levels of friendships:
First, you have your inner circle, or your BFF’s (we at glitter, like to call these friends our “Home Slices.”) These are the friends you trust the most and you talk with most frequently. Usually these friends are the ones who share your interests and activities and you spend LOTS of time with. You need to choose these friends VERY carefully. Your BFF’s will have a huge impact on you as a person, your reputation and even your future. These friends are the ones you actually make an effort to “invest” in. Ask yourself these questions when deciding who to let into your “inner circle.”
1. Do they share your belief system or the way you view the world? This is HUGE, girls. You can’t truly be close to someone who doesn’t share your principles. Oxford Dictionary defines a “principle” as “A fundamental truth or proposition that serves as the foundation for a system of belief or behavior. A rule or belief governing one’s behavior.” You see, your beliefs drive your life. They dictate how you make decisions, how you act, what you value in life, how you treat others, what you want in your future, etc. Don’t you think your closest friends should have your same belief system?
2. Can they be trusted? We all need someone we can confide in, but you better choose those listening ears carefully! If you’re going to share your weaknesses, fears, and deepest, darkest secrets with a friend, they need to be trustworthy. Trust is earned. You need to know a friend for a long time and you need to observe them in action. Do they share secrets about their other friends or their family members? That is a red flag! If they aren’t trustworthy, you need to think twice about getting too close.
3. What are their character traits and strengths? If you had to describe a particular friend in 3 words, what would those words be, and are these character traits those you admire and value? If you find yourself admiring traits about your friend and you see how they can help YOU be better person, then you’ve found someone who is worthy to be called a “BFF.”
4. Do you get along? This one may seem obvious, but did you know there are all kinds of personality types? Some personalities just get along better together. That’s OK. You must think about this when choosing your closest relationships. Think about how you deal with conflict or disagreements with your friend. Think about how you feel with this friend after you’ve spent TOO much time together. Your best friends will be willing to work out disagreements and continue to love you afterward. You and your best friends might begin to get on each other’s nerves a bit, but you will continue to love each other despite your flaws.
I would say the next category is your close friends. They are very much like your inner circle, but maybe you don’t get the opportunity to see these friends as much as you’d like. Your life just isn’t as intertwined as it is with your BFF’s. You still share similar beliefs and way of life. You probably consider them trustworthy, but they aren’t necessarily the people you share your deepest issues with. You value and admire them, but their character traits won’t have quite the same impact on you since you just don’t spend as much time with them. And because you don’t spend as much time together, you probably won’t find yourself having to work out too many conflicts either. You truly love and value these close friends, but you just can’t invest quite as much as you do with your inner circle.
The next category would be friendly acquaintances. You come across these friends frequently and you’re nice and friendly with each other, but you just simply don’t know them at a deeper level. Maybe you’ve only had one or two conversations. You probably know ABOUT them, but you don’t exactly KNOW them. I would caution you not to get too deep with them too quickly. You want to make sure you have plenty of opportunities to ask those important questions before you begin to draw close.
So, you see? You should TOTALLY have #squadgoals! Your relationships can make or break you. Be wise!