Cool kids are lonely. Mean girls are miserable. Bullies are scared.
There. I said it. It’s the truth. Knowing this truth will change your perspective. It will change how you view certain people, and hopefully it will transform how you treat them.
Now, let me explain.
First, let’s talk about the “cool kids.” You know who I’m talking about. The ones who walk around kinda acting like they’re better than everyone else. They hardly make eye contact with anyone. They certainly won’t talk to just anybody. They only hang out with a few choice people. They have the newest gadgets before anyone else. They have a zillion Instagram followers. They are always dressed “just right.” Their hair is “just right.” Their shoes are “just right.” Their talk is “just right.” Their walk is “just right.” Yada. Yada. Yada.
Honestly, that sounds exhausting, doesn’t it? Being too cool to interact with the real world around you, is a lonely, miserable experience. Constantly worrying about having everything “just right” is draining. I would even argue that often, the “cool kids” don’t have quality friendships. After all, to have authentic relationships, you must be vulnerable, real, humble, and selfless! I’ve seen “cool kids” that are so scared to interact with the “wrong” people for fear of ruining their image, that they seem to have no real friends at all!
So, why would someone make so much effort to be “cool?”
Next, let’s discuss “mean girls.” Ya’ll….just…no! No. Just No. No. No. No. No.
“Mean girls” put other girls down. They judge other girls. They humiliate other girls. They purposely try to stir up jealousy in other girls. They gossip about other girls. They make efforts to turn friends against each other. Is it even possible for “mean girls” to have real friends? There’s nothing more unattractive than a “mean girl.”
So, what motivates a “mean girl?”
And finally, we have the classic “bully.” Oxford Dictionary defines a bully as “someone who uses strength or power to harm or intimidate those who are weaker…typically to force him or her to do what one wants.”
Bullying is a serious issue. In some cases, it can even be life-threatening. Bullying is never okay, and if you’re being threatened and intimidated in this manner, or you witness others being bullied, tell multiple trustworthy adults immediately.
Do you think bullies are happy? Do they have real friends? Are they content in life? I think you can answer “no” to all those questions.
So, why be a “bully?”
Did you catch the 3 questions I asked? You must ask yourself “Why?” What makes people act downright ugly?
Hurting people hurt people. People are broken. People are sick. Some people more than others. When people are insecure, afraid, hurt, angry, jealous and ashamed, they tend to act…well… ugly. It’s like they’re trying to make themselves feel better by putting others down.
It sounds kinda sick, doesn’t it? Yeah. It’s called sin.
Love (and the REAL source of LOVE) is the opposite to this sin sickness. Some of us have been fortunate enough to have experienced love more than others. It’s that experience with love that keeps us from acting out in hate.
So how do you treat difficult people? What does love look like? Love is patient. Love is kind. Love isn’t jealous. Love doesn’t brag. Love isn’t full of pride. Love doesn’t put others down. Love is selfless. Love doesn’t get angry easily. Ya feelin’ me? Now, I’m not saying to go out and be best buddies with rude people! No! But if you are forced to interact with them, you can do it in love. If nothing else, pray for them! Prayer is the most loving act you can do for another person, and that can be done from a distance.
You see, sometimes you must CHOOSE to act in love. It can be hard to love what is unlovely. But, aren’t you unlovely sometimes? We are all bent toward ugliness. We are all bent toward sin. And we ALL need love. Cool kids need love. Mean girls need love. Bullies need love. You need love.
Love changes people. Love is powerful. Love wins in the end. Actually, LOVE has already won. You can love because YOU ARE LOVED. So, ya’ll…let’s love others. Yes, even the ones who are hard to love. Love the cool kids. Love the mean girls. Love the bullies.
***Note of caution – Again, if you are being bullied, threatened, intimidated, etc. tell trusted adults immediately! Your safety and well being is of utmost importance! I am NOT advocating that you ignore threatening behavior! Always seek help from adults. You can “love” people from a DISTANCE! Don’t be afraid of getting a bully in trouble. If a bully gets punished, it is because of their own poor choices. Be wise! If you are being bullied in person or online, seek help!***